Job Search vs. Dating: Is there even a difference?
Think back to every visit, holiday and vacation you’ve had with your family over the years that you’ve been away at college. Based on personal experience, we are targeted with the same four simple questions from every family member – from dad to grandma to little brother – with each visit:
How are classes?
How are your friends?
Why don’t you have any money?
Do you have a boyfriend yet? (Or whichever gender you choose to date.)
For the longest time, I couldn’t understand why these were things my parents kept asking me about. As time went on, I connected the dots. The classes relating to things I should actually be learning. The friends relating to the (hopeful) social skills I’ve developed. The money relating to the clear fact that I desperately need to learn to manage what little I do have.
So here I am, a senior in college, just now realizing why they ask me if I have a boyfriend yet: Because it is actually relating to my ability to land a job after graduation.
Now I’ve grown into this independent, confident (sometimes) stubborn lady. I don’t need a man to support me, I am definitely not making decisions in my 20s based on guys acting in their teens – you get it – I don’t need a boyfriend so stop asking me. But I now understand why I should have been dating throughout college.
I am having the same luck in the job search as I am in landing a man: next to none.
Dating Profiles
How many platforms have you posted photos, listed interests and shared qualifications on? LinkedIn, Monster and Indeed, any of your social media platforms: These are your new dating profiles. People browse them and decide whether to swipe right or left in a matter of minutes seconds.
The Hunt
It’s not as easy as strolling through campus or heading to the bar, it takes time. You online stalk the companies; you create that physical (or mental) list of potential suitors. Who are your mutual friends, how much would you have in common? There are a million factors to consider before you take the plunge and ask them out.
The Outfit
Whip out your date night jeans on a Friday? Forget it. Your résumé is now your go-to outfit. It’s tailored to fit just right and you try it on (read, re-read, re-re-read) it everyday. It’s hard to nail the perfect outfit, so no pressure.
The Fix-Up Date
It’s not what you know, it’s who you know: This has never been so accurate. Getting real-life info through a professor or making the right number of connections on LinkedIn can be the entire difference between reading and shredding your cover letter and résumé. Sometimes you just have to have your roommate set you up, and that’s okay.
The Blind Date
By some stroke of God, you got a match! After being excited, you then start to panic. How much food do you order, how much do you laugh at their jokes? You don’t want to seem too eager or too pushy. How many questions do you ask in an interview, do you send the follow-up thank you email soon? You don’t want to seem too eager or pushy.
Getting Dumped
How dare they? You’ve spent this time getting to know them and opening yourself up, starting to base your life around them. And then they just drop the bomb that you aren’t marriage material or “the one” or whatever.
“We decided to choose another candidate with better suited qualifications.”
It’s not you, it’s me. You are awesome and so great; I just really need to focus on me.
“Thanks so much for your interest and time in the company.”
Thanks for paying for dinner and wearing that hot outfit all night, I loved the eye candy.
“We will keep your résumé on file if anything opens up in the future.”
I really hope we can still be friends.
The Sea Full of Fish, and all that
The job market is huge, so this is the part where we try not to get down on ourselves. Think of all the single people companies that would be lucky to have you. Keep your head up, because the love of your life could be just around the corner.
So you see, this is why our parents wanted us to date. To learn about marketing ourselves and getting that special someone to pick us over everyone else. They wanted us to be employed, THAT is why they keep asking why we’re so single. Right?
This post was originally published on March 31, 2015.